


Every Step

by reidsexual



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Language, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-22 07:16:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8277382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reidsexual/pseuds/reidsexual
Summary: Requested by anon via my ask box: hihihi! just another angsty request here could you do one where the reader and spencer work at the BAU together and the reader realizes that they all know about her struggling with self harm lately so they’re all talking about it and she over hears and leaves the BAU to her house and spender tries to follow her and he ends up chasing her and holding her and shiznits and FLUFFFFFFFF





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on my tumblr, reidsexualwriting, where I write and take requests for the Criminal Minds fandom. If you'd like to make a request, send them to me there via my ask box!

You couldn’t help but feel like someone was staring at you. You were leaning over your desk, staring at a paper JJ had put on your desk earlier. You felt your shirt ride up slightly against your wrist and your sides as you supported yourself with one hand.

You sat down as soon as you noticed it, and pulled up the sleeve as inconspicuously as you could, glaring at the raw marks from the night before. You cringed internally. You tried to act as though you were glaring at a watch or something, but it seemed like you had made an awful job of it.

Morgan surprised you a few seconds later by dropping a file on your desk. You jerked in your seat, smiling when you saw him. “Sorry, just a little jumpy,” you explained. “We got a case?”

“Nah, not yet,” he responded. “Hotch told me to give you this; it’s some case from a while ago. Think he wanted a report on it or something.” You rolled your eyes.

“I thought he always did these for us,” you complained. “I don’t wanna waste my time on this.”

“I know, I know. He’s been kind of an ass lately. Just get it done, I guess.” He put his hand on your shoulder. “Sorry for scaring you like that.”

You nodded him off and opened the file to start working on the report. After what felt like hours, you felt a tap on your shoulder. “Hey,” Spencer muttered. “What’re you up to?”

You groaned. “Uh, just finishing up this report Hotch wanted. Pain in my butt,” you grumbled, turning around to face him. “Nice cardigan, by the way.”

“Thank you,” he squeaked, glancing down at the blue-gray fabric. You couldn’t help but grin. “Since when do you write case reports?”

“No idea. But I’m not about to argue,” you answered. “I really don’t mind it.” You quickly looked up at his messy hair as he sweeped a stray piece back.

“Well, I’m sure Hotch will be satisfied.” He glanced over to the kitchenette. “Do you want a coffee or something?”

“No, thanks, Spence. I’m just gonna finish this up, but I’ll catch up with you later.” He nodded and walked back over to his desk.

“Sir?” you inquired, lightly knocking on Hotch’s office door. “I have that, uh, report you asked for earlier. You want it or do I need to put it somewhere?”

“I didn’t assign you a report, did I?” he questioned, laying his pen down on the desk. “Let me see.” You handed him the papers. “This case is from months ago. I wrote this report. A long time ago.” He handed it back. “Who told you to write this?”

You paused, confused. “Morgan did; I guess it was supposed to be a joke or something.” You tried to justify it but that didn’t seem like something Morgan would do. “Sorry, sir, I won’t let it happen again.”

* * *

The rest of the workday passed fairly quickly. When 5:00PM came round, you were making your way down the hallway when you heard the rest of the team talking.

“I’m telling you, Emily- I saw them! I saw marks on her arms. And her sides.” Derek’s voice was evident.

“It doesn’t seem like her, Morgan! Y/N’s the strongest woman I know,” JJ chimed in.

“Believe whatever you want to, JJ,” Morgan continued. “That girl might need some serious help.”

It was stupid, but it really was painful to hear your co-workers gossip about you- especially something you never wanted them to know about. You hurriedly walked over to the elevator as tears began to well up in your eyes. As the doors shut, you vaguely heard Spencer shout your name, but you ignored it, determined to just get home.

The drive home was hard enough with your vision clouded up, but some of the thoughts racing through your head were even worse. _What do they think about me now? Was Derek serious when he said I needed help? Could I lose my job?_

You fumbled with your keys at the door, slamming it shut as soon as you got inside. You didn’t even bother to lock it. You threw yourself down on the couch as you were suddenly overwhelmed with dread. You were containing yourself much better than normal when you threw yourself onto your couch, a few stray tears staining the pillow underneath you.

You felt like you sat there for hours when you heard your door open, causing you to shoot up and reach for your gun. You heard Spencer’s voice call your name to which you tossed your gun down to the couch. “Go away, Spencer.”

“I’m not leaving,” he stated, placing your gun on an end table. He sat down next to you, placing his hand on your back and rubbing up and down. “I’m assuming you heard us talking.”

You felt more tears begin to flow. “I think I heard enough. Do you think I’m crazy, Spencer? I really can’t control myself.”

“I do not think you’re crazy.” He looked you in the eyes. “I think you’re hurting and you’re trying your best. Even though it’s not healthy…” He trailed off. “My point is- it wasn’t right of us to talk about you but we all just care about you. Most of all me.”

You sniffled. “You mean that?” you asked.

“Of course I mean that. I’ve liked you since the day you started working at the BAU. You’re one of the best profilers I’ve ever seen. And don’t get me started on your personality- or your looks.” He rubbed the back of your hand with his thumb. “I don’t think you’re crazy. But I do think you need help to get through this.” He looked down at your hands then back up to your face. “I don’t think I can bear to think about you hurting yourself.”

You rubbed a tear from your cheek. “Thank you.” You planted a kiss on his cheek.

He blushed. “Thank you for that.” He paused, seemingly thinking something over. “Is it bad if I say I love you?”

Now you were blushing. You assumed you looked dumbfounded. “No- uh, no. That’s definitely not bad.” He beamed. “I love you too, Spence.”

“You will get through this,” he assured. “You’re too strong not to.” He kissed you, this time on your lips before he pulled you into his arms. “I’m here every step of the way.”


End file.
